I’ve mostly been blogging over on my MySpace account. But I think the people there are getting tired of my two to three posts a day about pretty much nothing. So I’ve decided to come here and post about nothing another two or three times a day.

Let’s see …

Lately, I’ve been writing quite a lot of poetry. Some of it’s all right and some of it’s terrible. But I’m writing. That’s the important thing. I’ve been able to go back and mine some of my old journals, too. I had thought that I’d written nothing at all for a few years, but it turns out that I did write a few things. Some of them are even salvageable, now that I’m in tune with the universe again.

I suspect that most of the people who come across this blog are people who know me from my ferret writing, so they (you) might not know that I was a poet long before I even knew what a ferret is. I’ve never managed to write a poem about a ferret. It’s like writing a really good love poem: nearly impossible. It always ends up too schmaltzy or saccharine (or do those mean the same thing?). I’ve had to stick to prose when it comes to writing about ferrets.

Speaking of ferrets … I’ve been looking at pictures of all my babies. I miss them. They were such warm (in every sense of the word) friends. Maybe when I stop crossing the Atlantic several times a year, I’ll get some more.

That’s about all for right now. But don’t be surprised if there’s another post before this night is through. I’ve been writing all sorts of things, which is good. Very good, indeed.

–Mary

I originally wrote this a month ago:

It’s been nearly two weeks since Gabby passed away quietly and peacefully in her sleep. For the first time in nearly 13 years we are ferret-less; for the first time in my life I’m pet-less. It feels very strange and empty to be without a little furry friend to tend to and cuddle. But right now we’re in no position to bring another animal into our home. On November 11, Eric and I were in a car accident, in which Eric broke a rib and I broke my thumb (quite severely). Neither of us is in a condition to care for an animal right now.

Gradually, we’re putting away the ferret things: tubes, tents, toys. It’s a sad process. It will be complete when Gabby’s ashes return and rest on the shelf with the remains of Sabrina, Ralph, Marshmallow, Knuks, Trixie, Bosco da Gama, Balthazar, Cauliflower, and Koosh. I couldn’t want a finer groups of furry friends than these. I can remember the feel of each one; each one’s good and bad habits and ferrty quirks. I hope these memories never leave me.

Gabby hasn’t been doing well for the last week. We’ve mostly been trying to keep her comfortable.

Last night Eric went to feed her and she was totally nonresponsive. I fully expected her to leave us during the night. But she’s still hanging on. It’s only a matter of hours now.

We have her wrapped up in her favorite fleece blanket from our bed. She’s warm and comfy.

We’ll soon be ferretless for the first time since 1992.

Last night Gabby wasn’t feeling well at all. She’s getting to be a little old lady. She’s always been a bit of a hands-off ferret, more like a cat than a dog. She likes being near you on her terms. This makes it a little frustrating when you’re trying to comfort her and all it does is make her uncomfortable.

Eric went to give Gabby her nighttime baby food last night and she was like a wet noodle. We suspect it was some low blood sugar issue, though she wasn’t drooling. She was just floppy. She licked baby food off my finger and took some Nutri-Cal fairly happily. Then she curled up in one of the little heart-shaped sleep sacks we got from Fantasy Ferrets (Alicia Drakiotes).

This morning Gabby woke me when she climbed up on the bed. She must have felt well enough to climb up and walk on me. She dug around furiously by my feet and went to sleep. Just a few minutes ago, Eric gave her baby food again, which she lapped up on her own, licking the bowl clean.

I know Gabby can’t be with us much longer. I think I’m all right with that. She’s had a good life. She’s the only ferret we ever had who did not have surgery for one reason or another (tooth extraction aside). And she’s the last one.

I love ferrets. They’re exuberant and energetic, persistent and adorable. But I have to take a break. I need some time away from the sad part of having ferrets — losing them. They’re such shining stars that when they die, the world goes dark. I’m still not over losing Balthazar in 2001. Or Koosh in December of 2003. If I close my eyes and think of them, I can remember the feel of their fur. I can remember the sparkle in their eyes. The bond I had with each one.

Maybe what I need is time to grieve.

A couple of news stories concerning ferrets:

Medically Necessary Ferret?

Burberry Ferret Brouhaha

I’ll try to write some comments on both of these stories a little later today.

Lately we’ve been feeding Gabby baby food twice a day. She really likes it. It’s good for her because it doesn’t have all the carbs and sugar that kibbled foods have. Although, ideally we’d be giving her “real” meat, she’s a bit older and, as most ferrets, quite stubborn. Baby food is an improvement. Every little bit counts.