I’ve been thinking about this for a few days now, so I figured I’d try to get it into words.

One of the things I’ve learned is that you can’t approach weight loss as a temporary change. You need to change your lifestyle. You need to change how active you are and what you eat. It has to be a permanent change if you want permanent effects. To that end, I’ve thought of some of the things in my life that are non-negotiable; things I’m not willing to change because my quality of life might not be what I’d like it to be.

I won’t give up half and half in my morning coffee. I have cut down the amount I use, but I’m way too cranky in the morning to not have what I love. I have tried regular milk and light cream, but they just don’t do it for me. The benefits of cutting out my half and half are not greater than the benefits of me being happy in the morning. HOWEVER, I drink only two cups of coffee at the most on any given morning. Usually I just have one big cup and measure out three tablespoons of half and half.

I won’t give up having cheesecake from time to time. Life is not worth living without an occasional piece of cheesecake.

I won’t give up French fries from time to time. I know they’re not good for me, but they’re sooooo good! I have chosen to never have sub-standard French fries. If they’re not perfectly crispy, they’re not worth it.

I won’t give up watching TV. But I do have the elliptical in front of the TV so I can top off any cardio that needs doing. I also try to tape TV shows so I can skip the commercials, thus taking less time in front of the tube.

I won’t eat certain vegetables. I just can’t bring myself to eat asparagus. I can eat Broccoli until it comes out my ears, but I can’t abide the asparagus. I’m also not a fan of some of the more “exotic” veggies. I stick to what I like.

I won’t give up carrots. I know they’re not the best choice, but I really like them — especially raw. So I watch how much of them I eat and I focus intently on them while I’m eating them to get the most enjoyment out of each one.

I won’t give up an occasional bagel. Hello! I’m in New York, I think it’s against the law to swear off bagels entirely. I will, however, scrape off most of the cream cheese before I eat it.

I won’t entirely give up any of the really, really bad foods that I love (lasagna, fettuccine alfredo, pizza, burritos, all sorts of Chinese food …). However, I do not eat these foods daily or even weekly (or even monthly for that matter!).

I won’t give up chocolate during PMS. The compromise I’ve made, though, is that I can only have dark chocolate and I have to walk up to the grocery store to get it.
I won’t give up the occasional bowl of popcorn with a diet Pepsi.

The point of all this is not what I’m not willing to give up. Obviously I’m not willing to give up things I really enjoy. What I am willing to give up is giving in to temptation all the time. I’m willing to learn to like foods I might not otherwise have liked (did you know that sprouted grain bread sounds a little weird but is deeeee-licious?!!).

If you jump into a “diet” without considering what’s important to your quality of life, you’re not going to stick with it. If you absolutely have to have a piece of chocolate once a month, then work it into your lifestyle. If you can’t live without a box of macaroni and cheese every once in a while, then work it into your lifestyle. You know what the bad things are, so use them in moderation.

Before I end this, I want to tell you all that some of how I learned to do this comes from getting sober. You deal with cravings one day at a time. You remind yourself what’s important. You keep your priorities straight. You lean on like-minded people when you think you have no strength left. And if you falter, you get right back on the wagon. Remember, you’re changing the way you live, making your life and yourself better. You are worth every bit of effort you put forth.